Mushroom lollys and hair do not go well together!
by Niko1
Summary: Mel signs up as a daycare worker, but ends up with some pretty unusual kids! That is, some unusual hobbits, humans, an elf and a dwarf! ..That's right, this is a "LOTR Kindergarten" fic! and lemme tell you, those kids may look cute, but they are BRATS! RE
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: No, I don't own them. Wouldn't it be fun if I did? MUAH hah. Have fun! And give me reviews! Cause I like them! :) Mel took one last look around the room and smiled in satisfaction. She had come in three hours early to make sure all everything was perfect. All along the bright red walls she had posted some learning-positive posters with garishly ugly pictures of the alphabet and turkeys and such. One corner of the room had a small carpeted square on which rested three toy chests; chock full of educational toys, and a bookshelf separated the carpeted area from the rest of the room. Opposite of that there were sleeping mats laid out for naptime, ten of them in total. In the other corner, a table with cupboards holding snacks and juice sat, it's surface gleaming. In fact, the entire room was spotless.  
  
"Like it'll really stay that way." She snorted. Little kids never allowed a room to be clean. Maybe it was some kind of unspoken law among them. Probably. Little brats. She had no idea why she'd accepted this job, as a daycare worker, but at ten bucks an hour for two weeks, with seven hours a day, she figured she could use the money. She had been told over the phone by an odd sounding man named Tom that there would be ten kids to take care of, and she'd have one assistant. She had no idea who that would be, but hoped they would be competent. And Tom...Just plain worried her. He sounded like he was singing a lot. Maybe he was gay? Not that she had anything against them-some of her friends were. But Tom was really weird.  
  
Mel was a short, fifteen-year-old girl, with long brown wavy hair and grey eyes-in all aspects, an ordinary looking teenager. Also ordinary in the sense that she needed money. Which is what had led to this job, even though she was less than fond of small children. "Well," she muttered, thinking out loud "I guess I like them well enough, I just don't ever *want* them! Maybe-" She stopped.  
  
KNOCK! KNOCK! A loud, furious pounding on the door brought her back to reality. She put on her best baby-sitter's face and ran to open the door and greet the parents.... Who weren't there!  
  
There, standing in front of the door with a blissful look on his chubby little face, was a tiny, barefoot little boy with odd looking ears. The source of the happy look was from the... what was that? A mushroom shaped lolly? And from the smell of it, it was mushroom flavored too. She shrugged, looked around once more for the vagrant parents, then swept the child inside, while introducing herself to him.  
  
"Hi there, little guy! My names Mel!" She said as brightly as she could, trying not to let the anger she felt at his parents show through. She took off his blue jacket, noticing as she did that he wore a little mushroom shaped nametag that read "Pippin T."  
  
"At least you have a name." She said, looking at his face, stuffed as it was with the mushroom lolly, and smiled. He stared blankly at her for a second, then abruptly threw his arms wide and hugged her, hitting her in the eye with one hand and getting the lolly tangled in her hair with the other. She grimaced, and hugged him back. At that moment there cam another knock at the door. She tried to disentangle his arms from her neck as they were blocking her air, but only succeeded in making him giggle. Reluctantly she picked him up and headed to the door to greet the newcomer as her hanger-on giggled at her plight.  
  
**sings** review, review, and I'll love you! (it rhymes! I'm multi- talented!! Psh yeah right. :P) 


	2. Chapter two! I can count! yey!

This chapter is for Casey! She made me write it. (It's all her fault! Kill her, not me!)  
  
  
  
Mel reached for the doorknob, but her arms were full of giggling Pippin. She tried to again to put him down, getting so far as to have his feet touch the floor, but he kept his death grip around her neck. She gave up on that front and opened the door as best she could with her nose, because Pippin was *heavy* and she couldn't really stand up, and her hands had somehow gotten stuck in her hair along with the lolly. She sighed, then looked out the door.  
  
Another little curly-haired moppet looked back at her with mischief in his dark eyes. He wore pants that really were too short for him, and a yellow vest. He also had no shoes. He appraised her position seriously, (Pippin was now climbing onto her back) then giggled, running forwards with his arms wide open. He jumped on her, effectively knocking her onto her back.  
  
She looked around desperately for parents or someone, but again, there was no one. He did, however, wear a nametag not unlike Pippin's, that read "Merry B."  
  
"Cute." She said noncommittally, then rolled away from the two exuberant toddlers, who thought she was playing, and jumped on her again. This time, she moved before they had a chance to attach themselves to her, and stood up. "Alright, guys. My name is Mel, okay? Can you say Mel?" She sounded it out for them. "Mmmmm-ell. Got it? Mel."  
  
The two stared at her blankly.  
  
"Okay," she began "Nevermind that then. Why don't you two go over to the play corner here and get out some toys?" She put her hands on their shoulders and led them to the toy chests. They followed without protesting, Pippin still sucking devoutly on his odd smelling lolly. Mel blinked at them, then bent down to pick out some toys for them to play with.  
  
"Here you go, now, hun." She handed a toy hammer to Merry, and a board that had wooden pegs to nail in. He stared at it.  
  
"Uh... Pippin, here's a nice story book for yo- oh, wait. Not a good idea, you'll get it all sticky. Uh, have a soldier, there you go." She handed him a wooden soldier. He stared at it.  
  
The two of them turned to stare at her.  
  
Mel sighed. This was going to be a long day.  
  
Merry turned to Pippin and looked at his lolly. He reached out, took it, and popped it into his own mouth. Pippin opened his mouth, and *screamed*.  
  
Mel sighed again. A very long day indeed.  
  
  
  
  
  
A/N the next arriving will be Frodo and Sam, then... who knows! MUAH HAH HAH!  
  
REVIEW! They really do make me happy 


	3. Another Chapter! Written when I SHOULD b...

A/N I *do* have to change their ages a bit. Otherwise it wouldn't be as much fun! Hee.  
  
  
  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA..."  
  
"Shh, shh, hun, it's okay. Merry, I want you to give Pippin that lolly back RIGHT now."  
  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA..."  
  
"Merry, I SAID give it back! Now!"  
  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA..."  
  
"Alright, then," Mel gritted her teeth and grabbed the lolly from Merry, and not even bothering to wipe the drool off, stuck it in Pippin's mouth.  
  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAA-Mmph!" Pippin abruptly was quiet. Merry, on the other hand...  
  
"SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"  
  
"Merry! Stop that! It wasn't yours in the first place! Now look, I can't under-" She stopped. Over Merry's screams she thought she heard a knock on the door. Ignoring the screaming child she ran gratefully to the door, glad for the distraction. Yanking it open, and nearly pulling herself off- balance, she looked out. No parents-but no children, either. Hmm. Then, as she turned to close the door, all of a sudden, a chubby little child rounded the corner, and beside him there appeared another child. Who then disappeared. "Huh?" He appeared again. Then disappeared. He seemed to be doing it by putting on what looked like some little ring. The chubby one frowned, and took the ring from the littler one, who merely squeaked once in protest. He deposited it matter-of-factly in Mel's hand, then walked in past her to examine Merry, who was still wailing. He reached into his pocket, brought out another lolly, by the smell of it mushroom flavored, Mel guessed, and popped it into his open mouth. Merry abruptly shut up. Mel glanced once at the bauble in her hand, then shuddered and dropped it in her pocket. She turned to the now silent Merry.  
  
"Thank God." She breathed, then picked the newcomers up, looking to see if they had any name tags. "Samwise, and Frodo?" She asked them, looking at their tags. Sam's was shaped like a little tree, and Frodo's was like a ring. She got another sudden chill at that one, and dropped them on the nearest pile of blankets. She started to walk away, then thought the better of it, and plopped down beside them. Four kids, and already she was exausted. And where was her assistant?  
  
She stood up. "I'm calling Tom." She desicivly informed the children, and ran to the phone. She dialled in the number and waited with baited breath. He had ibetteri be there.  
  
Ring.  
  
Ring.  
  
Ring.  
  
She tapped her foot. Frodo sat on it, clutching her leg.  
  
Ring.  
  
"Frodo, would you like a teddy bear? And Merry, hun, stop licking the table. It's dirty!"  
  
Click. "Hello-dellerio?" A pleasant voice sang. She hated that.  
  
"Tom? TOM? Is that you, Tom?!" Frodo was reaching into her pocket, looking for the ring.  
  
"I think so, yes. What ever is the matter?"  
  
"Assistant, Tom." Mel heard a splash from somewhere around the sink, but ignored it.  
  
"Yes, what about him?"  
  
"He's not ihere.i" Frodo grabbed the ring and ran away.  
  
"Oh."  
  
"Well? Frodo, stop. I don't want you playing with that ring. It's creepy. Get off. No, Frodo-I said get off!"  
  
"Mel?"  
  
"Tom?"  
  
"He's not available. Find your own assistant-I'm sure you'll manage! Have a nice day!"  
  
Click.  
  
"Tom? TOM?!? DAMMI-" She stopped. No swearing around the kids. She sighed, walked over to the sink and fished a sopping but blissful Pippin out. The little guy had found a plug and filled the sink up with lukewarm water, then proceeded to sit in it, with his clothes on. She wanted to scream. Instead, she decided to check on the other small children. Merry was involved with trying to put both his feet and the lolly in his mouth at the same time, Sam was piling some wooden sticks on the floor and holding a cooking pan, and Frodo was nowhere to be seen. She wasn't sure if that was a good thing or a bad one. She slumped. "I can't handle this. This is-this is-this is... Dumb." She concluded, for lack of a better word.  
  
Frodo appeared to her left. She looked at him despondantly for a minute, then crouched down beside him. "Frodo, hun?"  
  
He looked at her with his adorable big blue eyes. She hoped he understood.  
  
"Now, I know you like your ring very much, and I'm sure you think it's fun to play with. Are you following me this far?"  
  
He nodded.  
  
"But that ring is a little creepy. Okay? So I'd like it if you wouldn't use it, okay?"  
  
He stared at her for a second.  
  
"Why don't you give me the ring, and I'll put it in a safe place. Okay?  
  
Frodo's face, so adorable normally, hardened. With a flash, his eyes filmed over, his skin greyed and he ihissed/i at her, then ran away.  
  
Mel freaked. "WHAT THE HE-...." She ran to the phone, and desperately dialled Tom's number. It rang twice. Then it picked up, and Mel started babbling incessently. "Tom that child is a DEMON he is a MENACE he is FREAKY AND I WANT HIM GONE or I am LEAVING right NOW this is NOT FUNNY TOM!" She paused and listened.  
  
"iThe number you have dialled is not in service. Please hang up, and try your call again. The number you have dialled.../i"  
  
She dialled again. Same thing. And again. Nothing.  
  
She looked around, a little nervously. Everyone was happy in their own little worlds. Even Frodo, who was now visible and looking at a book. But still...She didn't want to take any chances. She needed help. So she picked up the phone, thought for a minute, and finally dialled her friend's number, hoping that she would be there.  
  
  
  
  
  
This took me SO long to write! I would stare at the screen for hours and end up with three words! Ack! I need sleep. 


	4. And yet another chapter! Isn't this amaz...

There, Cas, are you happy? New chapter, and you're IN it. Bwah. Hello, everyone. Go me with the sporadic updating! Sorry. I LOVE YOU! Hee. (I am SO tired right now.)  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Casey was lying on a sofa, comfortably engrossed in a poetry book when the phone rang. She decided, after looking at her options, to ignore it.  
  
Ring.  
  
Ring.  
  
Either ignore it, or throw it out the window, she mused.  
  
Ring.  
  
Ring.  
  
"Okay, you-" she told the phone "Are getting annoying." She picked it up.  
  
Click.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"CASEY?" Mel's voice was frantic. "CASEY?!  
  
"... Are you... Okay?" Casey asked, worried that her friend was sick.  
  
"Yes. Wait, NO."  
  
"Obviously you're NOT."  
  
"I had noticed that."  
  
Casey tried to keep her amusement out of her voice. "Look, anything I can do?" There was a silence from the other end, then Mel spoke.  
  
"Here's the address. 71 Birch street. Second house on the left. It's green. It has a daycare sign out front. Get over here RIGHT NOW. Hurry up, before the kid disappears again."  
  
There was only one reasonable response to that. "What?"  
  
"Just COME. Oh, dear God, someone else just knocked on the door. There's more of them. Cas, just COME. NOW. Or I may well go insane."  
  
"You're not already?"  
  
"Oh, shut up."  
  
Casey giggled.  
  
"Hurry up." Mel said, and hung up.  
  
Walking over to the door in trepidation, she opened it, wincing. Then she arched an eyebrow as a tiny, golden-haired child ran in and flung himself on to her leg, hugging it furiously. It was a little boy, and he had pointed ears. "Aw..." She said, for lack of a better thing to say, and tried to disengage him. What was with these little kids and hugging her?  
  
He had an lovely little green suit on, that had a leaf embroidered on the back. He also had, slung over his back, a infant-sized quiver of arrows and a child's bow. Were those real? She reached down and looked at his name tag. 'Legolas' She tried to pronounce it. "Le-GO-lass?" She tried, then frowned. "Lay-gol-as?"  
  
He looked up at her and said in a sweet voice "LEG-o-las." His face broke into a grin as she repeated him and said it right. He handed her a beautifully polished apple, and walked gracefully into the room, stopping to speak to everyone in a high, childish voice as he did so.  
  
She went to close the door, but right them up stumped the most hideous child she had ever seen.  
  
He had a BEARD. She noticed right away that he had a BEARD. He was chunky, had a large nose, an ugly brown food-splattered top on, and a beard. "Uh..." She said, and stepped back. "Hi there, little... guy. You're... Uh....." his name tag read "GIMLI." "Gimli. Hi, Gimli."  
  
From inside, Legolas heard her address the newcomer. Coming out curiously to look, his face hardened. He shrilled something in language Mel had never heard, and fitted an arrow to the string of his bow, glaring daggers at the other.  
  
"Oh, no you don't!" Mel cried, and scooped him up, relieving him of his bow and arrows, and for lack of a better thing to do with him, set him in a corner with a blanket over his head. He gave a startled squeak of protest.  
  
The other ...child had come in, and was sitting in the kitchen staring at the fridge. "Hungry!" He informed her. Pippin heard. "Hungry!" He affirmed. Merry joined in. "HUNGRY!" He yelled. There was a chorus of "Hungry! Hungry!" from all the children.  
  
That was what Casey came in the door too. She looked at Mel in disbelief. Just then, Frodo took out the ring, wandered out to the middle of the floor, put it on, and was gone.  
  
"I TOLD you." Mel said flatly. "Could you please, please feed them?"  
  
Casey, dumbstruck, nodded. "O... K..."  
  
"Good." Mel said cheerfully. "I have to check them for any more weapons. Try not to trip over Frodo."  
  
"What," asked Casey, terrified, "Have I gotten myself into?" Gimli started chewing on her leg. Mel gave her an evil smirk.  
  
Just then, the doorbell rang.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Review? YAY. Ow, I should really go sleep. Why is it I always write when I'm so tired I can barely THINK? Maybe it's th- zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz  
Shh, I'm sleeping!  
;) 


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